May News

This month's topic is Dealing with Difficult People.

You'll probably guess that I don't really really believe that there are 'difficult people' only people who cause us to challenge ourselves in new, difficult and often uncomfortable ways. You cannot change how people are but you can choose how you let them impact you!

A reminder that you can download a free copy of my 'Being Resilient' picture book from the website. If you haven't already looked at it, it might make you smile. 

As usual, I'd welcome your comments on the questions that really worked for you or that made you challenge your current way of thinking. 

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Featured Topic: Dealing with Difficult People

I'm sure that you can immediately think of a person you consider to be difficult (it may even be someone that everyone around you considers difficult too). 

You might believe that this person makes you defensive, frustrated, confused or angry.You might also feel a strong sense of resentment towards this person. 

The questions below are designed to help you to explore your reaction to the difficult people that you meet, and to help you to begin to deal with these sorts of people before they deal with you!  

Why not print off this Newsletter and explore these questions in a quiet space away from your desk. 

1. Can you remember when you were last at your most calm and assertive? 
2. What does calm and assertive feel like for you? Can you describe it in as much detail as possible? What colour comes to mind? Can you liken it to an animal?! 
3. What is your body language like when you are calm and assertive? What is your tone of voice like? fast or slow? deep or high-pitched? 
4. What do you know to be true about yourself when you are at your most calm and assertive? (what do you believe about yourself in this state?) 
5. Who are you when you are calm and assertive? 
6. Can you think of someone that you are always calm and assertive with? 
7. How do you think they feel about you? How do you expect your next interaction with them to go?
8. How do you feel about the possibility of another interaction with them? 
9. Now, can you think about someone who you consider 'difficult'? 
10. What do you know about them as a person? What is important to them? If you were 'in their shoes' how would you see the world? 
11. How do they perceive you? 
12. What would make them less cautious of you? 
13. What is your body language like when you are with them? What is your tone of voice like? fast or slow? deep or high-pitched? 
14. What are you thinking and feeling when you are with them? What colour comes to mind? Can you liken it to an animal? 
15. Who are you when you are with this person? Who would you like to be? 
16. As you think about a future interaction with this 'difficult' person what do you believe will make a difference for you? 
17. How exactly will this (or these things) make the interaction better? 
18. How will prepare yourself mentally and physically for the interaction? 
19. How will you feel differently during and after the interaction? 
20. Who will you be with this person in future?  

Activities last month

Being Effective

Elisabeth Goodman and I have been working on our 'Being Effective' workbook. This is a 'Personal Effectiveness' book that will build on the ideas in my 'Being Effective' picture book, but also include Elisabeth's process improvement expertise. We are very excited about the various possibilities with this book and how it will supplement our Effectiveness workshops.

New Picture Book

My 'Being Creative' picture book has taken a back seat this month with other commitments but I hope it will be available in the near future. Watch this space.

Coping in Difficult Times

We are delivering a two hour workshop called 'Coping in Difficult Times' for an organisation undergoing a number of redundancies at the moment. The workshop is similar to others we have delivered before but with an emphasis on creating thinking time in a turbulent environment. If this is an area of challenge for you or your team please contact us to explore how we might tailor an approach to meet your needs.

If this is an area of challenge for you or your team please contact us to explore how we might tailor an approach to meet your needs.

What is coming next month?

We are developing a telephone workshop to help leaders think about how they can be better coaches. More on this next month when the featured topic will be Maintaining your Energy.

Warm wishes

Helen.